Selected and arranged by Claire Cronin

For the occasion of our two Ray Johnson publications, The Paper Snake and Not Nothing: Selected Writings by Ray Johnson, 1954-1994, here is a curated list of Google alert headlines on “Ray Johnson,” which we’ve been gathering for the past few months that we let ourselves imagine might have amused our Ray Johnson.

Note: some links may have long expired since this post appeared in 2014.

Farmers have little confidence in peak bodies
An Artist Finds the Perfect Red
A cow ‘maternity ward’ flourishes in western Illinois
Mr. Johnson has left the building

Drawing of a musical half note
Country Music Hayride features gospel show
Detectives seek help in finding killer of Sacramento man
New film highlights ‘Western Theater’

4 accused of arson in Franklin County haystack fires
Oak Park Village Board member Ray Johnson signs off
Oakdale teen indicted in death of grandfather
Former Grace Christian Schools head goes to Korea

Roanoke teen faces life in jail for shooting
The Lively Soul of a Decaying City
Grave mistakes prompt generous offer
Wolstanton dancer performs on stage alongside husband after five-year breast cancer battle

Inside the Lions: Ray Johnson
Future Flavas: Ray Ray Johnson
Suspect leads cops on chase through two cities
Officials Warn Of Knocks On Doors Late At Night

Gerald Ray Johnson
Billy Ray Johnson
Donald Ray Johnson
Earl Ray Johnson, 59

Handshake allegedly turns violent at Aiken restaurant
Seniors crash out at quarter-final stage
Hello!! I am No LONGER WORKING… – Official Ray Johnson – Essex Based Tattoo Artist

Sign of spring: Geese arrive in Fairbanks
Woman describes being held hostage by suspected killer
Staff in line for shares windfall
Uncertain future for North Shore volunteer group

Perch Festival boosts Lions Club’s coffers
Canton Driver Sentenced for Hitting a Flagger
Obscure law is freeing county mental patients
Facial contortion trio hit Park

Two geese reported at Creamer’s Field; one swan in Chena River
Second arrest made in Club Pizza burglary
Officials say local fire threat is higher than normal
North Shore volunteer group meeting more like a wake

Johnson Pest Control Celebrates 30 Years in Business
Family still waits, watches in death penalty murder case
Farewell to devoted businessman who lost tumour battle
The art that’s driving Detroit out of the doldrums

Fire destroys North Rome house
Family dispute leads to arrests
Boil advisory issued for parts of Allen Parish
What would you do if you found someone buried in your cemetery plot?

“Bubba” Donnie Ray Johnson “Don”
Pastor Ray Johnson
Donald Ray Johnson
Is Redskins name truly meant as an honor? — Ray Johnson

Oakdale teen indicted in death of grandfather
Most City Offices Closed in Observance of Good Friday
Cheap Price Ray Johnson Regular Sale
R&B & Popcorn

Cop charged with using bathroom spycam at Chesterfield gas station
Sad to hear Ray Johnson passed away.
Native American to teach corn husk weaving
Flash floods, lightning present danger on Mount Charleston

Kimble Ray Ray Johnson
RED RAY JOHNSON
donny johnson
UP & DOWN FARISH STREET

Several in drug roundup arraigned
Rain makes Las Vegas firefighters happy on the Fourth
Thieves find a lucrative new commodity: grease
Ray “Hollywood” Johnson is Back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!